This is an Afrikaans word and there is no really great English equivalent. Directly translated it is “hearts friends” and the suffix implies it is a friend who is a girl. I guess you could use words such as bestie to try describe what it means. For me, it denotes those friends who know you to your core; they understand you and get you and love you – often because your friendship has lasted for many many years. I am blessed to have quite a few hartsvriendinne and even more blessed to have seen or spoken to most of them in the last couple weeks. These friends of mine who have known me from the beginning of high school or the beginning of university – friendships spanning 10-15 years and other, newer ones, forged in the fire of marriage and motherhood.
Last week I saw CG, my neighbour from first year in university. She came over and it was nearly bed time and she said to Tim ‘you must be tired, your eyes look like your mom’s do when she is tired.’ Later when the boys were in bed and we sat chatting she put her toes under DW’s legs to warm up – a unique CG trait that always makes me laugh. I had a down day and I sent voice note upon voice note to CS in Australia, telling her all about how I was feeling and what was going on. Two days later she did the same thing to me and I got it. I got it the way only old friends can. A few days later another friend, TC, sent me a tearful voice note because she just needed to reach out to someone – I did the same to her in December and January and March. My one hartsvriendin AT, I haven’t contacted in a while, I have been meaning to but didn’t quite get there. When I did eventually contact her, all I received in return was love and understanding and that immediate depth and warmth which characterizes our friendship.
Friendships are important – that is why there is song upon song; quote upon quote; series upon series about friends. As women we are fortunate to be able to have a depth and quality to our friendships which is rare in a male friendship. Hartsvriendinne are one of life’s great blessings and too often we take them for granted or we neglect them or we forget how much we need them and love them. Take a moment and think about your hartsvriendinne – contact them, tell them what they mean to you and thank God for His wonderful gift of friendship.
To my hartsvriendinne – the ones I have mentioned and SB, JB, CL, GC and NC, my sister who is closer to my heart than she ever realizes – thank you for carrying my heart; thank you for carrying me, for holding me up in prayer; thank you for the laughs and tears – for seeing me through the trials and joys of life. Thank you for being my hartsvriendinne.
