Eating my elephant

Greetings all!! It has been an absolute age since I have last posted. Let me explain…..

I got a phone call asking if I could do a 10 day locum for a GP in town with a VERY busy practice. I agreed as the doctor was sick and it was an emergency. The 10 days turned into 6 weeks which has evolved into a part time GP job. So now the hours are calming down a bit but it has been long hours with the accompanying tiredness; less time on home organisation; less time with the boys and of course the increase in mom guilt.

In these 6 weeks we have also all been on antibiotics; my sister has moved to Ethiopia; we moved house; I have been taking an online course in palliative medicine and I have had a basic life support instructors course. And the boys have been unsettled so neither are sleeping through and both acting up. So yes, lots of tears, irritation and feeling like Im not coping so well.

Now that there are regular set hours for work this should improve. Except that I now remember how much I dont know about medicine and with each patient the list of things I need to rrad/learn/remember grows. I also need to start catching up on home admin and all sorts of other things. My life is getting on top of me. And every day Im haunted by how long it has been since I posted and the fact that I dont know what to say.

This morning I was pouring out my woes to Sue, the most amazingly helpful and wonderful and God fearing nurse you will meet. She said to me “how do you eat an elephant?” Of course the answer is one bite at a time. I can’t do it all at the same time, it even feels as though I can’t do it all. But I will get there – one job at a time.

So then I started running through my list in my head thinking these are all important jobs – how do I decide which one to start with? Where does this massive meal begin? Sue told me the answer to that as well…it starts with a quiet time. Even if that quiet time is 5min listening to a song or a psalm being read. Even if I cant spend the hour I think I need to. Even if it feels like the quiet time themselves are an elephant.

So that is what I did today. I had my first bite of elephant – I listened to a 6min podcast on choosing God above all else. I had a second bite – I saw my patients. A third – I set up appointments for next week. A fourth – I wrote a blog.

And just like that my elephant is on its way to being eaten! All it needed was to start with a small bite. Best of luck with your elephants this week.