We have had a difficult few weeks in our home. From the beginning of the month until now we have all been sick with three out of the four of us landing up in hospital. It was tough, to put it very mildly. One day I was whatsapping a couple who are friends are ours as they had both asked me how I was doing. To the wife I sent a prolonged voice note about the things that were troubling me and how I was feeling but how I also knew I couldn’t trust my feelings etc etc, a very woman message. She replied in kind. To the husband I simply said, I don’t really know how I am to be honest. His reply “This will pass, like a kidney stone, but it will pass”. I absolutely loved that answer!! Laughed for about 5 minutes and then realised how true it is. I have never had kidney stones but we have learnt all about it and I believe that trials, any and all sorts of trials are very much like having kidney stones. Here are 5 ways they are the same:
Painful
Passing a kidney stone is excruciatingly painful. Men think it is worse than childbirth, I don’t trust that because they don’t know how child birth feels, BUT I have read that women too liken it to childbirth. This pain is not a dull headache pain; it is not an uncomfortable feeling; it is not a trifling matter. This is serious pain. I have not had a kidney stone but I have dislocated my kneecap and that was pain like no other.
There are trials and there are trials. Some are a dull headache; some are a bladder infection; some are an itchy rash but some, some trials are kidney stones or dislocated knees. They are difficult; they are exceedingly painful; they suck. And that is OK. It is OK to be struggling in a trial; it is OK to feel like it is more than you can bear; it is OK to be toiling; it is OK to feel weak.
Colicky pain
Doctors use the word colicky to describe the pain of kidney stones. Usually this means a pain that starts and stops; it is not a constant never ending pain. It is a pain that comes and goes. Babies with colic cry ALL the time, but an adult with the colicky pain of kidney stones will feel some relief from the pain.
Trials are like this too. We do not feel close to despair all the time when we are in a trial. We have moments or hours or even almost a whole day when we feel like we are doing OK, we are going to make it through; we can cope. Then suddenly we get whacked with a wave of despair and we begin to think we can’t cope after all.
Pain not proportional to the size of the stone
A teeny tiny kidney stone can cause intense pain. It isn’t so much about the size of the stone as it is about where it is and if it is stuck and other factors. Also, while you are trying to pass a 3mm stone, it feels like it is the size of a soccer ball.
I often fall into the trap of saying, this trial is nothing compared to what others are going through, it is ridiculous of me to feel like it is so difficult; to be struggling this much. That is a great lie that Satan uses because then on top of feeling bad I feel guilty for not being a good Christian and not handling my trial well. It doesn’t matter if you think your trial is small, it doesn’t matter if someone else seems to be going through more; your trial is your trial and your pain is your pain.
Relief available
God is amazing and he has allowed us to make all sorts of wonderful medications to help us with pain. There are pills for nerve pain, muscle pain, inflammation, congestion, all sorts. He gave us a myriad of ways to decrease the pain we are going through. Not only medication but fluid, rest, wheaty bags etc.
In much the same way, there are loads of things we can do when suffering through a trial to ease our way a little. Call on friends. Get out the house. Give something away. Help someone less fortunate. Read your Bible. Pray. God has given us so many ways to make our burdens a little better.
It does end
Kidney stones travel ever so slowly, mm by mm down your ureters and into the bladder and then out ther urethra. It is torturous but there is a time when the kidney stone will pass and then your pain will be gone. In the same way, the trial will come to an end and you will be all the stronger for it. In the midst of the trial it feels like it will never end, like there is no way you will make it through the night and to the dawn. But you will! There will be a day when the sun will shine again and you will find yourself at peace.
If you are passing kidney stones right now, know that God is there with you. He is in the fire too. There are friends and loved ones to support you. And you will get through this. Minute by minute, hour by hour – this too is passing. There is light at the end of the tunnel and it is worth going through the darkness. If you don’t know where to turn, please use the contact page to email me, I would love to try to help and just let you know you are not alone.