I watched the first couple seasons of a TV show called “The Middle”; in the one episode, the mom had the common discussion with her kids about the pecking order. She said that she is the mom, the parent and therefore she is on top; they are the children and are therefore below her. This was followed by a long discussion about the pecking order among the children as well as the question of where the dad fit in the whole picture. It was a scene I could relate to. I have thought often of that scene these last few weeks as I have wrestled with the idea of pecking order in my own life.
It is very difficult to juggle work, home, school, admin, seeing friends, exercise and the million other things a woman keeps track of. It is impossible to keep on top of everything, so what do we let fall? Generally, we let go of anything that is for us personally. I said to Colin not so long ago that I feel like we are both giving our best for other people and we are not giving it to each other or to our children and that is a problem. It prompted me to look at what areas I have dropped the ball. In my life I know that I dropped my exercise ball and that includes rehabbing my knee. I also dropped my personal quiet times; sleep; time out times. It has been bred into me that we should live for others, do for others, serve others, put others first. Therefore anything that is for me as a person I tend to put on the back burner. I know most of my friends are the same. And we suffer because of it.
The other camp says things like, happy wife happy life; take care of number one; you can only help from a place of fulfillment and happiness; if you aren’t OK then no one around you will be. I am not sure that this is the right way to go either. We can not let everything else slide because we don’t feel like it or because I want to do this or go here or have that. This is real life not fantasy and the truth is there is only so much money and so much time and there are things that HAVE to be bought and HAVE to be done. I cannot just do whatever I feel like, what will make me happy.
So where do we draw the line? How do we serve others first while still taking care of ourselves? What should our priorities look like? In the list of things to do, keep track of and buy, where do we begin? If you have the answer please leave a comment so that we all can learn because I do not know. The only thing I know is that since I started prioritizing my quiet times, the rest has gotten slightly easier. Matthew says to seek first His kingdom; so that is my starting point. Make sure first that I am spiritually healthy – after that, I will let you know if I ever get it right.