I have just had a journal session for the first time since May and suddenly it makes sense why I have felt overwhelmed and out of control and just not at peace the last few weeks! I was writing about all that was happening and all that was bothering me and as always happens, one of the boys woke up. So I put Tim on the baby gym and carried on writing; begging God to help me to put Him first again, in my time and mind and priorities. I started to think about Jesus telling the disciples they had to change to become like little children to enter the kingdom of heaven. But what does that mean? How do we do that?
Little children is an area I know something about – not everything; not by a long shot but I know something given that I am surrounded by them all day every day. And as I sat and wrote and looked at Tim as he lay gurgling at me I had some thoughts on how we can be spiritually like little children.
Tim is now 7 months old and he is on some solids but his main nutrition is milk. He never really took to a bottle and as such he is basically completely dependent on me. I cannot be away from him for more than a few hours. Is this not how we should be with God? We should NEED regular feeds from the bread of His Word.
Tim also knows who his family is and it makes me laugh and smile and giggle to see any of us, specially his brother. For his part, Peter dotes on Tim and runs to tell me if he is crying and loves to give him hugs and say “hi baba”. Is this how we see our brothers and sisters in Christ? Is this how we love them?
Peter is nearly 2 and he knows his body parts and animal sounds; he knows some objects and random words. All this he knows becuase he spent hours listening to me tell him. He spent time with me, listened to me and learnt from me. Are we learning all that we know from God? Is it His voice that we listen to and obey?
When Peter wakes up in the night or in the morning we hear little feet pounding on wood and he runs into our room and climbs on our bed. He knows that he is welcomed and safe where we are – he knows he will find loving arms and a smile. Do we run to God as a loving father? Do we know we will find love, acceptance and safety in His arms?
Lastly, Peter’s favourite words at the moment are “mum, come” and “mum, duddle (cuddle)”. No matter what he is doing he wants me to watch, to be there and he frequently stops what he is doing to get a hug and a kiss. Do we involve God in all aspects of our lives? Do we do things with Him watching? Do we go to Him for frequent moments of love?
I realised I have not been like a child in my relationship with God, I have been too busy trying to be a grown up, trying to be independent, trying to do it on my own. And the reality is, I can’t. So my prayer for myself and for you is that we embrace our immaturity and become like children in God’s eyes.