Do you remember that holiday you took? The one where you stayed up late and drank wine and walked all over and went to museums. Do you remember when you went to movies on a Saturday afternoon? Or even when you watched a full movie at home. Do you remember when you could leave for somewhere in five minutes? All you had to do was go to the toilet and jump in the car. Do you remember going to the toilet alone?
Neither do I. That was all in a time gone by. A time before children and chaos and exhaustion. I don’t do any of those things anymore. It isn’t possible. They belong in that time which has gone. The time when my time was my own; my clothes stayed clean and I slept through the night. The time when I didn’t change nappies or have toys and food all over my house. Ah, that time gone by. How lovely it would be to be there again! To sit and have a hot drink. Or a whole conversation in one go!
O, but do you remember being kissed good night? Big wet sloppy kisses. Do you remember being the point of security in a person’s world? The one who is looked for when they are uncertain; the one who is called when they are hurt; the one they show when they are angry. Do you remember the touch of that hand in yours, those arms around your neck, that lap in yours? Do you remember those tired hugs?
I do. That is the time that is now. The time with small children. The time when you give them all they need. And it is frustrating and exhausting and totally disorganized; it is bewildering on so many levels.
O but it is glorious too! Do not dream of a time gone by. Soon this time will be the time that is passed and we will wish it back again. Not a time gone by; the time is now!